A conspiratory silence fills my mind

A hardly mentioned name

Yet it permeates my every move.

Power of will is hardly enough

Accomplishing nothing but a delusionary

Sense of completeness.



Pretense, my own parody

As played by me to humiliate no one

But myself.

This foolish game I play -

[My spirit] being subjected to ever new,

Devious plots by my mind -

Permanently scars my soul!

Etched in anguish, memories carved out in pain,

Struggling

To maintain my battedred sanity brings relief.

While rest is an eupherism for torture.



Denying myself the memories

Only worsens the flood of emotion

Drowning me every time

As I struggle to maintain my composure.



It's asking to deny the reason for my existence

Because I feel that somewhere, somehow,

Our two paths will join at one point

Through some spiritual, yet tangible bond

Which so far had prevented all of my deceitful

Attempts and insignifant conspiracies to

Eradicate her from my heart.



Meanwhile I bludgeon pain into a manageable mold

Encysted in layers of hate, permitting time to

Pass as I maintain -

Hidden behind impermeable walls

Of my own bulsh*t!!!




» Absolution (Element Of The ensemble III)
» As I Feed The Flames Of Hate
» Cadences Of Absonance (Point Of No Return II)
» Carpae Deum
» Dysgenics
» Hunter Killer
» I Believe
» Inner Capsule (Element Of The Ensemble II)
» Legions Of The Betrayed
» Let It Burn
» Mute Requiem (Point Of No Return I)
» Mystery
» Nocturnal Reflections
» On The Shores Of Ithaka
» Pantheon Of Tears
» Sans Abris
» Zero Hour

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