Tom Waits Quotes

"Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends."

"No, I don't have a drinking problem except when I can't get a drink."

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

"I like to walk out of a restaurant with enough gas to open a Mobil station."

"When he performs, it sounds as if the world has stopped at 2 AM." - Dinah Shore

"I hate Disneyland. It primes our kids for Las Vegas."

"If Michael Jackson wants to work for Pepsi, why doesn't he just get himself a suit and an office in their headquarters and be done with it?"

"All hardware items must be admired for their sonic properties; pitchforks, egg beaters, crowbars, fireplace grates, shovels, anvils, rebars (the structural reinforcement rods used in poured concrete), trash cans - the list goes on and on and they're all waiting to be played."