"Every holiday season, I entertain my family by gargling their favorite Christmas carols." (On the greatest goal ever scored in the game of hockey:) "Easy. I am a huge hockey fan and I almost swallowed my own esophagus when Trevor Linden scored my favorite goal of all time, for Team Canada, with less than two minutes remaining in the 3rd period against the Czech Republic at the '98 Nagano Olympics. He tied the game, sent us to overtime and I ran around the house screaming like I had found the cure for cancer! Although others claim Canada lost that game (I blacked out as soon as they began the shoot-out), I know in my heart what is true: that swallowing your own esophagus can be a painful thing and a hockey game can't be won in a skills competition."

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