Tina Fey Quotes
The cover story of New York Magazine this week is "Baby Panic". This goes perfectly with the other magazines on my coffee table - "Where Are The Babies?" (US), "Why Haven't You Had A Baby?" (People) and "For God's Sake Have A Baby" (Time). Thanks, Time magazine, this is just what I need - another article so depressing that I can actually hear my ovaries curling up.
Prostitutes in Lyons, France, sent a fax to the government to complain that they are losing business to Eastern European women who are protected by the Albanian mafia. Okay, first of all, how rough-looking are these French prostitutes that all their customers are running to the Albanians? Secondly, why did they send a fax, and from whence? Do they have a fax machine in the whorehouse, or did they all trundle down to Kinko's - "You fax these, I'll let you shave me." Thirdly, how come French whores know how to work a fax machine, but every time I try to use it, I hit Powersave, or I forget to dial 9? This just proves what my boyfriend always says - that I am dumber than a French whore.
[on her six-week maternity leave] I had to get back to work . . . NBC has me under contract; the baby and I only have a verbal agreement.
