"I love Scrubs. It's the best day job in the world". "I love The Office. I think it's the funniest thing - Ricky Gervais is possibly the funniest person I've seen in my entire life". "That was a very surreal experience: I had studied the script right down to the punctuation marks, and then he would say 'we're not going to say what's on the page, and you don't really have to either, try to keep up.'" - On working with Woody Allen. "Everyone said no. Everyone with a date book and a phone in Los Angeles said no. "[On Hollywood's initial response to his Garden State script]. "When you are writing a script, you can't help but stop and daydream about which actors are going to play the parts, and I kind of imagined Natalie Portman. Not just because she is beautiful, because obviously she is, but she is a wonderful actress who hasn't had a chance in a long time to show the world how talented she is". "Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with. Everyone has a warped vision of Hollywood and what success in Hollywood is like. That you love cocaine and that you spend every night in orgies with models. If only it were true." "They put all this money into these huge movies, and then no one goes to see them... That sort of shows that they're out of touch. Then, everyone in town passes on my little movie, and it does really well." - Responding to E!'s Ted Casablanca, when asked what he thinks of studio heads. "My mother's a psychologist, my stepfather's a psychologist, my stepmother is a therapist and my dad's a lawyer. So it was all prominent in my life. I don't know anyone who doesn't know someone on some form of prescription medicine." "I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers."