"The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail" "How can one not be fond of something that the "Daily Mail" despises?" "It is quite difficult to feel that I am placed somewhere between Alan Bennett and the Queen Mother, a sort of public kitten." On being gay: "My first words, as I was being born... I looked up at my mother and said, 'that's the last time I'm going up one of those.'" "It only takes a room of Americans for the English and Australians to realise how much we have in common." "Comedy always goes up and down but this year's been great. Comedy is immensely strong right now, with the Green Wing and Nighty Night." (Speaking in 2005) "Complete loose-stool-water. Arse-gravy of the very worst kind." (Speaking about Dan Brown's novel, 'The Da Vinci Code'.) My father was all brain and little heart. "As someone who worked hard for a Labour victory in the Nineties, do I regret it? Not really. It was bound to happen. And it'll happen with the next government, and the one after it. Because all governments serve us. They serve the filth."