"I'd accept an honour but I don't think I'm likely to get one. The Queen once described me as a dreadful man" To a Pop Idol contestant: "Let me throw a mathematical dilemma at you - there's 500 left, well how come the odds of you winning are a million to one?" [Asked if he feels guilty about what he says to the American Idol contestants] "No, what I am doing is kind by telling people who are useless 'Do something that you're good at'. So I would only feel guilt if I misled somebody who was terrible." "We've done three seasons of American Idol and by now it is safe to assume that most people know that you have to be able to sing. But people turn up who can't sing a note and yet they believe they are the Second Coming." "Sit in these auditions for three weeks and hear "I Believe I Can Fly" out of tune for the millionth time, YOU try and be nice" If you would have asked me what I thought of America before I came over here I would have used the word 'corny'. And then you come over here and you find that it's not corny at all. British people are very cynical, they cannot bear someone else's success. Americans embrace other people's success. Everything in America is larger than life. [To the infamous Keith who sang a horrible rendering of 'Like a Virgin'] "Keith, last year I described someone as being the worst singer in America. I think you're possibly the worst singer in the world ... I've never, ever heard anything like that in my life, ever." "I don't want babies the same way I wouldn't want a puppy. It's too much responsibility." "I don't take myself seriously and I don't consider myself a star." [On MIchael Jackson] The guy is off his rocker.