"My mother told me something I've never forgotten: 'Don't take life too seriously, son, you don't come out of it alive anyway." His traditional TV sign-off: "Good night, and may God bless." "All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner." When 'Louis B. Mayer (I)' , the notorious - and much despised - head of M-G-M died, seeing the crowd at his funeral prompted this famous Skelton riposte: "It just goes to show you, L.B. was right -- If you give the people want they want, they'll always show up." "As a longtime painter, I carry around snapshots of my favorite paintings the way other old geezers my age carry around pictures of their grandkids. Grandchildren are wonderful, but a good painting can help support you in your old age." "I think most of today's comedians are victims of laughter...they get nervous and resort to an insult or a four-letter word for a quick, cheap laugh. That goes on night after night until the whole act is cheapened. But that doesn't last. Usually, a couple of years later they are remembered only as the old what's-his-name who used all the dirty words."