"I can't stand light. I hate weather. My idea of heaven is moving from one smoke-filled room to another." Noel Coward (to O'Toole): "If you'd been any prettier, it would have been Florence of Arabia." "For me, life has either been a wake or a wedding." "Always a bridesmaid never a bride my foot!" (on receiving a lifetime achievment at the 75th Academy awards March 23, 2003.) "The only exercise I take is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise." "The nicest buttocks in the world are in Ireland. Irish women are always carrying water on their heads, and always carrying their husbands home from pubs. Such things are the greatest posture-builders in the world." "For a young actor it was intimidating. But! You look into the eyes and you see actors know actors. It's like playing jazz. You really have to go there with your trumpet and compete." "Books have been written about that so-called renaissance at the Royal Court Theatre. Bollocks. I watched this appalling bunch of strange young men creeping around, talking pompously." "I enjoyed it. The only thing that wasn't enjoyable was in the green room. I said, 'Can I have a drink?' 'We have lemon juice, apple juice, still or sparkling.' I said, 'No, I want a drink. No drink?' I said, 'All right, I'm f**king off. I'll be back.' A man with earphones said, 'No! No!' Eventually this vodka was smuggled in." - On The 75th Annual Academy Awards