"I could have been a Judge, but I never had the Latin for the judgin'. I never had it, so I'd had it, as far as being a judge was concerned." (Beyond the Fringe/Seceret Policeman) "If you ever want to hear a boring conversation, why, pop down the mine. There it'll be!" (Beyond the Fringe/Seceret Policeman) "Be very careful not to drop it on your foot then, ha ha ha!" (Beyond the Fringe/Seceret Policeman) "Never you mind, my dear, " I said to her, "you put on the kettle. We'll have ourselves a nice cup of tea." (Portraying a casting director turning down a one-legged man for the role of Tarzan) "I've got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is, neither have you." "I've learned from my mistakes and I'm sure I can repeat them exactly."