Norm Macdonald Quotes

I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh. . . one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, "what are you, zero?" And I'd go, "no, I'm one over here!"

"I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals." - while a contestant on the "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" celebrity episode that aired on August 5, 2001.

"I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser." - to TV Guide magazine in 1997.