"I'm in pretty good shape for the shape I'm in." - Mickey Rooney at 58 Would he marry all those women again? "Absolutely. I loved every one of them." "My partners weren't what we call in horse racing parlance routers. They were sprinters; they went out of the gate, but then they stopped. They couldn't go the distance." "People say, 'How can you be married eight times?' But I played the hand dealt me the way I was supposed to. I was friendly with most of my ex-wives. My God, there's a Mickey Rooney's Former Wives Marching Band!" On his marriages: "When I say I do, the Justice of the Peace replies, 'I know, I know.' I'm the only man in the world whose marriage license reads, 'To Whom it May Concern.' But to have been married eight times is not normal. That's only half-way intelligent." "You've got to recognize, there will never be another you. It has nothing to do with ego; it happens to be the truth. There will never be another person the same. There'll never be another you. There'll never be another me... And there'll never be another show like this!" "The audience and I are friends. They allowed me to grow up with them. I've let them down several times. They've let me down several times. But we're all family." "Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the Scotch weaker, the gods kinder, the dice hotter - it might have all ended up in a one-sentence story." "Love wears off too quickly." "I don't regret anything I've ever done. I only wish I could have done more." "I was a 14-year-old boy for 30 years." Upon winning his lifetime achievement Oscar, 1983: "Tonight, I could even kiss Louis B. Mayer!" On his life-long friend and frequent co-star, Judy Garland: "Judy turned to drugs because she was in pain and because drugs made her feel good. As one of the MGM kids, she'd been treated for most of her life to magical, instant, solutions to everything...She could never accept herself so she was always on the run." "I didn't ask to be short. I didn't want to be short. I've tried to pretend that being a short guy didn't matter." "The guys with the power in Hollywood today, the guys with their names above the title, are thieves. They don't make movies, they make deals. Their major function is to cut themselves in for ten per cent of the gross - off the top, of course - which is why they make movies that cost fifty million dollars." "Clinton was a Rhodes Scholar. Do you know who the scholars were? Marxists!" "I just want to be a professional. I couldn't live without acting." "There may be a little snow on the mountain, but there's a lot of fire in the furnace." "All the muddy waters of my life cleared up when I gave myself to Christ." "I've been through four publics. I've been coming back like a rubber ball for years."