"Why should I indulge myself and do a David Lean-ish kind of film? I could do my little Jewish Brief Encounter and disguise it - shorten the noses. But it wouldn't be as much fun as delivering my dish of insanity". "I cut my finger. That's tragedy. A man walks into an open sewer and dies. That's comedy." "My movies rise below vulgarity." "Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together." "Oh, I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius." "I'm the only Jew who ever made a buck offa 'Hitler' !" On Zero Mostel: "He could be wicked and cruel, and he could be almost sweet, loving, kind, generous. The great thing about Zero was that he was uniquely gifted. He was really, truly talented, more talented than any actor except for Sid Caesar that I have ever worked with." "Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So, for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one." "Humor is just another defense against the universe." On his late Blazing Saddles star, Cleavon Little: "My rule was not to eat with actors, but I enjoyed him so much that I begged him to eat with me." "As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes." quoted in Woman's World (3-22-05 issue)