"What's great about being a character actor is you know that you can survive forever. It's not about the gloss of your eyebrows...One of my great influences was Don Knotts as Barney Fife." "Two words, sweetie: balloon mortgage. And the need to be loved." [On why he remains in show business] "I'm totally aware of how lucky I am. I have health, family, children. I do work that gives me total joy and allows me to make a living, and maybe, if I'm lucky enough, I'll feel I've fulfilled a little bit of service to society because I brought other people some laughter." [2000] "This is satire. I am a satirist. Modern-day society has this obsession with needing to know every ounce of angst about performers' lives, to the point that it becomes more important than whether they can perform." [On his Broadway show Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me, 2006] "I truly believe that when you're funny, you're blessed. Your whole life is kind of golden. I was happy, although it was not perfect happiness. There was illness and sadness and death." [2000]