"It's almost charity work, what people have done, turning other people on to my music." "Connecticut's where I built the parts, Boston's where I assembled them, and Atlanta is where I sold them to people." "I love coconut, because when you think you're done eating coconut, 25 minutes later, a little piece of coconut comes out of the back of your mouth, and then you say, "Hey! It's more coconut!" I think any food with that kind of determination needs a little respect." "I am beginning to know what it feels like to be a woman. To have people looking at you all the time. And I'm sorry ladies, I had no idea! But people are looking at me all the time. It's like I have musical boobies!" [crowd cheers] "That was a good response and I'm not going to ask you to do it again. There's nothing I hate more than going to a concert and the guy says 'You having a good time?' and you scream your head off and then the guy says 'I can't hear you!' and I'm like 'The fuck you can't!' I absolutely hate it when guys do that. So I promise you I'll never make you do that. If you scream respectably the first time anyway." "So we've got one more song to play for you tonight...[crowd grumbles]...what, you know there's an encore too. The encore is sort of like the condom in the pocket: everybody knows it's there but nobody talks about it." "I've always said I've got the coolest fans, and I brag about you like grandchildren when I talk to other artists" "I've realized you can use a fork as a spoon if you use it rapidly enough." "Ladies, if you want to know the way to my heart...good spelling and good grammar, good punctuation, capitalize only where you are supposed to capitalize, its done." About the xBox game 'Halo': "I'm good. I'm fierce. And I'm not some gaming overachiever. I just have a skill. I was born to kill bionically augmented men." "High school is like a spork: its a crappy spoon AND a crappy fork, so in the end, its just plain useless." "Love is a hot shower where your skin never prunes." "I get recognized somewhere in between like local meteorologist and national meteorologist" "I love you all so much. We really need to come up with a new name for 'fans'. How about really good friends who can't come over my house." "I don't mind making sissy rock... I'll rock your ass sensitive-style" "I'm not really good at keeping my own secrets. I can keep other people's secrets pretty well. Unless they're really good and people deserve to hear them. And I'll disseminate the information accordingly." [As he ties his shoe onstage] "It's very difficult to tie one shoe with the same tension as the other one, because if one should be a little tighter than the other, the show's gonna suck. I'm a man of symmetry."