"There are lots of methods. Mine involves a lot of talent, a glass and some cracked ice." "If you stay in front of the movie camera long enough, it will show you not only what you had for breakfast but who your ancestors were." His feelings about never having been nominated for an Oscar: "I think they were afraid I'd show up at the banquet drunk, embarassing both myself and them. But I wouldn't have, you know." [last words] "Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him." "America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar, and use it up in two weeks." "I like to be introduced as America's foremost actor. It saves the neccesity of further effort." "It has been said that every man must properly pay the fiddler. Alas, in my case, it happened that an entire symphony orchestra had to be subsidized."