"I've been lucky enough to win an Oscar, write a best-seller - my other dream would be to have a painting in the Louvre. The only way that's going to happen is if I paint a dirty one on the wall of the gentlemen's lavatory." On Separate Tables: "They gave me very good lines and then cut to Deborah Kerr while I was saying them." During an Academy Award presentation. responding to the unexpected entrance of a streaker: "Isn't it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings." "I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an old clothes closet." "Can you imagine being wonderfully overpaid for dressing up and playing games?" "I suppose everybody becomes an actor because they want to be liked. I do enjoy being liked, but I don't work hard at it. I try to do the best I can for my age." "In 40 years I've never been late. They pay me enough - so the least I can do is arrive sober, be on time and know all the jokes." "I make two movies a year to take care of the butcher and the baker and the school fees. Then I try to write, but it's not that easy. Acting is what's easy." "I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against." "You can count on Errol Flynn, he'll always let you down."