Bill Maher Quotes

"The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough."

(From 1998 "Mother Jones" interview) "My generation didn't face the kind of urgent, pressing issues that my parents did, who fought through a war and a depression and know what suffering is. That's why Bob Dole had a tough time with this electorate. He was an old-fashioned curmudgeon who knew about sacrifice, and we didn't know if we could live up to his standards. But we knew we could live up to Bill Clinton's. He's more like one of us."

"The food is out of this world!" When asked what he liked about the Playboy mansion.

"I get the Playboy thing a lot. People assume I go out with bimbos. I couldn't go out with bimbos if I tried! I scare them off! The women that like me are smart. So I go to the Playboy Mansion four or five times a year, but people think I go all the time."

"We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."

"All I did was tell the truth. That's is what the whole show is about! And if 'Politically Correct' has to go down for it, so be it!"

"I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the gun accidentally goes off and kills his friend. Only in America is the villain in this commercial not guns or bad parenting, but pot."

Kids, they're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for sex.

Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security -- hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if the government forbids gay men from tying the knot, what is their alternative? They can't all marry Liza Minnelli.

I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder.

"There's no greater model, in my view, than Jesus Christ."