"Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch." "I've always felt like I work in a small little area that doesn't represent anything like the rest of society." "For so long afterward [9/11], whenever I heard anyone talk about Muslims, it was in association with terrorism. But I thought, what could I do in a teeny way - and believe me, it's a teeny way - to defuse this? There had to be some way to separate the 1.5 billion people who don't want to kill us from the 100,000 or so who do. I thought if I could get five Muslims and six Hindus and maybe 3 Jews to laugh for 90 minutes, then I've accomplished something." [on Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World] "We export films that are full of sleazy [penis] jokes and toilet humor - that's why we've earned the affectionate nickname of the Great Satan. What's seemingly benign, by our standards, is doing more damage to us around the world than anything I could ever do." "Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It won't be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it." "When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up."